9 August 2011

Today was filled with many things that as a nursing student (and now nurse) I do not like to do.  It is really funny because I prayed that the Lord would use this time to help me learn and grow in my faith and as a nurse.  I feel like today accomplished both of those things – at least just a little bit.  I started working in the IV and injection room today.  The nurse who worked in the room only spoke French, so I had no idea what she was saying or what she wanted.  She also did not talk or smile very much, so it was a long morning.  Patients come to the door from the pharmacy.  They are given the medication they need along with the syringe and needles.  At first, I had no idea how to read the prescription.  I saw IM but sometimes it is so hard to read their numbers.  Most of the medications are given IM (intramuscular), and most of them come in the dark glass bottles with the top that you have to snap off.  Any nurse or nursing student will know what I am talking about.  I hate those kinds of bottles!  We went over how to open them in school, but I crushed the bottle one time.  They are not seen as much in the US, so I really have not gotten a lot of practice.  I also am terrified of breaking the whole bottle in my hand and wasting that whole medication.  Then most adults get the medications in their buttock.  Giving medications in the buttock is another thing I hate!  They made me so nervous in school about hitting the sciatic nerve and paralyzing someone’s legs that I never wanted to give one.  I never had to do it at school or at the pediatrician’s office, so I had never done one before.  Then when she gave it in the buttock she did not do any of the things I had learned, so I had no idea how she came up with where to put it.  I was freaking out on the inside, so the whole morning I just watched.  Then during lunch and nap time (Yes, I take a little nap every afternoon.  It is wonderful.) I just kept praying that the Lord would help me conquer all my little fears and that I would not paralyze anyone.  I went back to the clinic with a peace that it was going to be okay and a determination to conquer my fears.  Then that afternoon I gave my first of many ventrogluteal shots in the buttock, and I successfully opened a ton of glass bottle medications.  I even was able to crack a smile on the woman’s face, and she helped me learn how to pronounce French words.  A great ending to the day, but as I am writing this I keep thinking that these are such silly things to be afraid of.  Sometimes I let the simplest fears control me.  Then I realize I am not trusting God when I do fear.  There are so many verses against fear.  I John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  I Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”  When I give Him control, I do not need to worry and fret about things in my life.  Life does not have to be so stressful if we cast our cares upon Him!